Sexual Desires
Sexual desire is a motivational state and an interest in “sexual objects or activities, or as a wish, need, or drive to seek out sexual objects or to engage in sexual activities”. Synonyms for sexual desire are libido,sexual attraction, and lust.
All people have different sexual needs with personal desires and can go to extreme lengths to achieve that gratification. Some people enjoy using sex toys, being spanked or tied up.
Because of your bleeding disorder, you might have a higher pain threshold than others and it may be best to give yourself factor cover beforehand.
If you’re interested in or are thinking of taking part in more specific sexual acts, some information highlighting possible dangers you might wish to consider can be found below.
It’s important to think about your personal safety, negotiate what you will and will not be comfortable with and make sure that you have a “trigger” word that means STOP NOW.
Fetish
Having a proclivity for something in a sexual way- especially something not inherently sexual. A fetish can often heighten sexual satisfaction or even become obsessive and needed to reach sexual satisfaction.
An object thought to have magical, especially magically sexual, powers
A sexual fixation or obsession with a usually non-sexual object
For example:
Feet
Latex
Leather
Pain
Bondage
Spanking
Specific smell/odour
Dangerous situations
BDSM
Short for “Bondage and Discipline, Sadism and Masochism.” A catch-all term for a broad array of sexual practices, especially involving restraint and inflicting pain.
Technically, it is illegal for a person to engage in S&M activities that leave a lasting mark on someone else’s body.
There have been at least four prosecutions of S&M practitioners in the UK since 1990, the most high-profile being the Spanner Case – which spawned the Spanner trust, a group set up to defend the rights of sadomasochists. Five men were jailed for giving each other consensual beatings, lacerations and genital abrasions. The case caused a furore and prompted calls for a change in the law.
Bondage
Derived from a term for slavery, Bondage has come to mean sexual slavery, particularly dealing with the simple practice of restraining one’s partner to beds, posts, from ceilings, etc. Usually entails either, rope (Asian forms) or leather, chains and other equipment specially designed for the purpose such as slings (western.)
Bondage considered a fetish, as enthusiasts generally prefer the thought or presence of a fully-clothed restrained partner to a fully nude and unrestrained partner.
Bondage is not to be confused with the more specific practices of B&D, the practice of restraining and then dominating, or humiliating a partner, or S&M, the practice of hurting one’s partner in order to achieve sexual climax. Bondage enthusiasts generally prefer the more docile forms.
Bondage toys and moves:
Abrasion: Any form of sensation play involving stroking or brushing the skin with rough, textured objects such as sandpaper.
Ball gag: A gag consisting of a ball, usually rubber, which is attached to a strap. The ball is placed in the mouth and the strap is placed around the head to hold it in place.
Catherine’s wheel: A large, upright wheel, usually made of wood, to which a person may be bound and then rotated to any position.
Electrical play: Any of a variety of different practices involving the use of electrical current or electricity to stimulate a person.
Frog tie: A specific form of bondage in which one person kneels and their ankles are bound to the thighs.
Pony play: An activity in which the submissive takes on the role of a pony; for example, by walking on all fours, sometimes wearing a bridle.
Top One: Who administers some form of stimulation, but does not have psychological control or power over that person.
Zip strip: An arrangement of clothes pegs along a length of cord or twine, which can be clipped on the body and then yanked off one by one or all at once.
*Extracted from xeromag.com
Kinky
Sexual practices that many people view as wild, unusual, or extreme. Definitions of this word vary from person to person; someone might think wearing red panties is kinky, or having sex with the lights on, but someone else will classify kinky as being suspended from the ceiling, whipped, and gagged.
Guys/Girls are often surprised to discover that quiet guys/girls are the kinkiest. But they’re only quiet because they’re imagining having lots of kinky sex.
Kinky sex can also include food items and not just chocolate, whipped cream or strawberries. Anything that goes against the norm of sex – so oral, anal, masturbation aren’t seen as kinky.
When people think of “kinky” sex most will automatically think sexy underwear, handcuffs, blindfolds, rope, leather, chains and anything that would shock the vicar.
Kinky sex can go far beyond a little slap and tickle, right up to forced feminisation, water-sports (pee), needles and knives.
*Anything involving dead people “necrophilia”, animal’s “bestiality” and children “paedophilia” ISN’T kinky, these acts are illegal.
Sadism and Masochism
S&M is defined as sadism and masochism which is a practice of taking or causing abuse during sex. An example of S&M is one partner whipping another during intercourse.
The practice of using pain as a sexual stimulant.
Some variants of S&M include:
Breast/Nipple torture
Spanking
Whipping
Blood play
Vaginal torture
‘CBT,’ Cock and Ball Torture
Asphyxiation
Hot wax
Branding
Master
Mainly used in context of master/slave relationship where Master is dominant in every way – especially in bed.
Master will often use pain as a method of control, torture and/or pleasure depending on his slave. This pain can be physical, mental or emotional and can be so intense it takes his slave to subspace.
Master knows everything about his slave and is capable of controlling his thoughts, actions and feelings – this is how much he is capable of owning him.
Master holds both position of God and Devil simultaneously to his/her slave. He is capable of filling his slave with so much happiness and so much pain at the same time it cannot be explained.
There can only be one Master in a slave’s life. A master can however have more than one man in his life. This is a very effective method of torture for his slave and does not mean he loves him any less, nor does it mean he no longer wants his slave. It means he has a need he cannot meet.
Master makes the rules and he will punish his slave accordingly if he breaks them. Equally he will reward good behaviour and rule keeping.
Slave
Someone who is willingly owned as property by a master or mistress. Slaves have a very deep need to please and serve a Dominant person, and doing so is the only way they can feel truly happy and complete. Not to be confused with a bottom or submissive.
Ignorant people often think owning a slave by mutual consent is abusive, not understanding that the slave wants and needs this.
Giving of oneself wilfully, openly and completely to another.
However in a BDSM relationship this is done with trust and honesty between to consenting parties.
The slave can sometimes also be called bottom in the BSDM world. “He is my Master and I am his Slave, we have entered into this relationship of our own free-will”.
Dominatrix
There may be a continental divide between the meanings of this word.
In the UK, within the ‘real’ BDSM scene, a Dominatrix is generally seen as a sexual role, with the BDSM aspect as a kinky additive
A Domme – or a Pro-Domme is more serious about the BDSM aspect and a ‘real’ Domme may not even offer actual sexual intercourse to those she dominates.
In the UK, ‘Dominatrix’ is often used as a term for a prostitute who carries a cane with her condoms
In the USA, the terms Dominatrix, Domme and Pro-Domme seem to be interchangeable
A man may refer to his dominating wife as a Dominatrix, and may use the same term for a woman who charges money to have sex with him, after spanking him.
