Hello everyone.

Summer is here and around the World people are proudly marching in the streets to declare their pride. As the temperatures rise the clothing reduces and what a wonderful time of year it is, to enjoy all those boys and girls. Whilst we all begin the merriment through the long warm nights there is a huge section of our community who won’t be getting all loved up, hot and sweaty in the crowds of party-goers or getting down to the tunes.

 

Donna from EastEnders

 

Donna (Lisa Hammond) went to her foster brother Vincent (Richard Blackwood) to help her have a baby.

Donna, who has dwarfism, has been desperate to have a child – and with no man to speak of, she has started turning to the men in her life for help.

But things took an uncomfortable turn earlier in the week when she asked her foster brother to be the sperm donor.

 

Discussing it quietly on Albert Square marketplace, Donna was seen tonight trying to sway her brother Vincent to help her out. Kush overheard the discussion, with Vincent threatening him unless he kept his mouth shut.

Later in the episode, Vincent was seen having another chat with Donna, who pleaded for his help, convinced that a woman of her age with her condition might never be able to have a child with a romantic partner.

Source: The Express 8^th June 2016

 

 

 

 

You get the gist of the story..?

At first glance some, in fact many saw this story line as being “sick” and were outraged at the BBC for going to air with it.

 

Now I’m not going to attempt to say who is right or wrong.

What these episodes have done however, is to highlight the very real issues disabled people face regarding finding love, relationships and sex.

 

The character Donna, is a real woman with real feelings, emotions and needs. Yet because she is disabled when it comes to the bedroom she might as well not even exist.

Anyone who needs or has spent any time in a wheelchair will know that gut churning feeling as you appear to become invisible and unable to communicate with the world. People talk over your head to the person pushing you, whilst maybe asking “them” how you are.

Back in 2009 I had my left ankle fused because my haemophilia had caused so much damage to the ankle joint it collapsed. This meant weeks in a full plaster cast, complete non-weight baring, the use of crutches and yep a wheelchair. I’m still the same person and no I have not suddenly been struck down with a mental health disability.

Sadly that is exactly how people saw me.

 

One Wednesday afternoon, whilst sitting in my wheelchair, out shopping in a well-known supermarket. As I was looking at some bits in the chilled items section, a woman literally walked up to the wheelchair and pushed me out of her way.

So I said to her:

“What do you think you are doing? I was looking at that.” She looked me up and down and replied “I wanted to get there.”

I then said:

 “Did you think I was waiting for a bus or what?” The woman said nothing, she looked at me with a completely blank expression on her face and then just turned and walked away. I thought to myself “what a bloody cheek” and then laughed.

However, when I got home the incident played on my mind and the more I thought about what happened really made me feel totally degraded, almost worthless, which got me thinking. “Imagine being treated like that all the time. Imagine you really fancy someone and they look straight through you as if you were a ghost”, how Hollywood sometimes portrays them. Add into the mix of a person’s sexuality and you get a very toxic set of circumstances. The gay scene is also very unforgiving when it comes to the diversity within it, which is what is celebrated every year.

 

The number of disabled people in the UK, currently around 6 million, is rising and there is an ever-increasing feeling amongst many of emotional isolation and sexual exclusion.

Those disabled people who are able to mix in society, and meet new people, invariably find themselves accepted as friends but not as lovers.

Some disabled people die having never experienced physical affection such as a cuddle, let alone sexual pleasure with another human being. Even those disabled people who are lucky enough to attract partners tend to find themselves needing professional help from time to time.

Sexuality and disability is a subject still not spoken about and many people are unfortunately not provided with the support needed from the NHS or their local community. Sometimes this is due to a lack of awareness, information or a person to confide in, who really understands.

Discrimination towards disabled people happens every single day and over the most recent years the British government has played a huge part in demonising people with disabilities. This has not only led to a change in the way disabled people are seen by the general public but it has also led to the amount of antisocial behaviour along with attacks on disabled happening more frequently.

 

 

Bringing this back to EastEnders, the BBC have always tried to tackle controversial and sensitive, sometimes explosive subjects and I thank them for raising another subject that shouldn’t be a taboo but looked at with compassion and sensitivity.

 

 

Until next time, I leave you with the words of Lady Gaga…

Born this Way

“There’s nothing wrong with loving who you are”
She said, “‘Cause he made you perfect, babe”
“So hold your head up girl and you’ll go far,
Listen to me when I say”